By Nataly Kogan, Co-Founder, WorkItMom.com
Here I am, writing this while sitting on the couch next to myhusband, during our daughter’s nap time, “relaxing” together andcatching up on Project Runway episodes we missed. I have a great excusefor why my laptop is here: If I get a bunch of work done now, I canspend the afternoon with my husband and daughter, playing outside inthe snow. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that the laptop isliterally between me and my husband right now.
I’m a technology entrepreneur and technology – cell phone, laptop,phone – is a huge part of my daily life. I literally could not do myjob if it didn’t exist. My husband is also in tech and his job requiresthat he work on the computer and carry a Blackberry, which alsofunctions as a phone. Our kitchen counter at times looks like a gadgetstore, with both of our laptops, phones, and Blackberries laid out onit. Sometimes this makes me laugh. Sometimes it makes me want to throwit all away.
But I’d be a total liar if I said that I use technology just for my work. Ilove to relax by watching TV. I love the Internet for the easy andquick access it gives me to news, research, and useful info likedirections or movie listings. I stay organized using my Googlecalendar. I hate talking on the phone. So email is my primary way of staying in touchwith friends and family who don’t live close by. I check my email toooften. I read too much tech and business news online. And I coulddefinitely read more books if I didn’t watch Criminal Minds on DVD.
I worry about the role of technology in our family’s life, the wayit often turns my relationship with my husband into one that’s side byside versus interactive. Sitting together and working next to each otheris a poor excuse for communicating and being together. Sometimes workhas to get done and we don’t have a choice. Other times, I feel thatwe do it because we’re used to it. Our daughter is three-and-a-half andwe’ve not let her play with the computer yet. But I know it’s comingand I know technology will play a bigger role in her life than it hasin ours. I worry about keeping her safe online, in the future. AndI also worry about technology ruining the quality of personalrelationships she might have.
So here are couple of things we’ve done to keep the tech in check:
- One night a week is computer-free. This is hardest for me, since Iwork 3-4 hours every night after my daughter is asleep, but I am tryingto not break this rule
- Have a few meals a week when TV is not involved. Our daughter eatsearlier with me or the sitter, and my husband and I have dinner around8-9pm, usually watching a show together because neither of us hasenergy to actually have a conversation. But a few times a week weactually sit down for dinner, or like earlier today, for a quick lunchas a family.
- No computer or Blackberry or cell phone in the bedroom. I used tobring my laptop into bed with me at night, to finish a bit of work, butno more. Bedroom is tech-free zone.
- I am working hard on not being an email addict and not checking itall the time. (And I mean, ALL THE TIME.) My first rule is to not keepmy email window open when I work on the computer. Yes, this sounds likea very easy thing to do but trust me when I tell you otherwise.
This essay was originally published on WorkItMom.com, an online community for working mothers.
