HG’s Lord of the Onion Rings
PER SERVING (entire recipe): 153 calories, 1g fat, 379mg sodium, 41g carbs, 16g fiber, 7g sugars, 9g protein
Ingredients:
1 large onion
1/2 cup Fiber One bran cereal (original)
1/4 cup fat-free liquid egg substitute
Dash of salt
Optional: additional salt, black pepper, oregano, garlic powder, onion powder, etc.
Directions:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Cut the ends off of the onion, and remove the outer layer. Cut onion into 1/2-inch-wide slices, and separate into rings.
Using a blender or food processor, grind Fiber One to a breadcrumb-like consistency. Pour Fiber One “breadcrumbs” onto a small dish, and mix in salt and any optional spices you like.
Next, fill a small bowl (just large enough for onion rings to fit in)with egg substitute. One by one, coat each ring first in egg, and then in the “breadcrumbs” (give each ring a shake after the egg bath).
Evenly place rings on a baking dish sprayed with nonstick spray. Cook for 20- 25 minutes, flipping rings over about halfway through.
MAKES 1 HUMONGOUS SERVING
Archive for April, 2008
HG’s Onion Ring Makeover
Monday, April 28th, 2008The Baby Planners
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008By Heather Cabot, The Well Mom
You’ve heard of wedding planners – those managerial mavens who see that every detail of the big day runs smoothly and just the way you always dreamed. Now meet The Baby Planners, two Los Angeles moms who’ve suddenly become the go-to gals for maternity matters. 
“When you are pregnant, it is so overwhelming. We are here to holdeveryone’s hand and to give people the reassurance they would need,”explains co-founder Melissa Gould of The Baby Planners’ extensive concierge and consulting services.
Their clients’ needs run the gamut. There was the expectant mom with an unlimited budget and a nursery to be designed who handed over her credit card to Gould and co-founder Ellie Miller and said, “See you in nine months.” Another woman pleaded for their deciding vote on a baby name. Then there was the call from the lady who wanted to talk about baby-proofing the day before her labor was induced.
Miller and Gould say they were always used to giving out “mom” advice since joining the club themselves nearly a decade ago. 40-year-old Miller has two children, an eight-year-old daughter and a six-year-old son. 40-year-old Gould has an eight-year-old daughter. But it wasn’t until Gould was fielding questions about baby gear from some friends, that they realized they could actually turn all of their mom instincts and tips into a viable business.
“As soon as you become a mom, you become an expert. We wanted to take that expertise to a whole new level…to the business of baby,” says Miller, who once worked as a news producer and writer for CNN and Channel One.
And big business it is. The book, Parenting, Inc. by Pamela Paul estimates the booming “mom market” nets $1.7 trillion dollars every year. Think of all of those fancy “must-have” strollers, diaper wipe warmers and designer layettes and it isn’t difficult to comprehend that figure. After researching their idea for more than a year, the partners discovered that busy moms, especially full-time working mothers seemed willing to pay big bucks to outsource some of the preparation and planning.
“In our initial launch phase, no one had ever heard of this idea. We really are the founders in the industry,” says Gould, an award winning television writer whose work has appeared everywhere from NBC to the Disney Channel.
The a-ha moment came at a time when both working mothers were feeling very conflicted about their professions outside the home. Gould and Miller had successful careers. But when they met by chance at a child’s birthday party, they forged an instant bond around the difficult tug between work and family.
“I think both of us were very career driven. But having children changes your life,” says Gould reflecting on the decision to become an entrepreneur.
After an appearance on The Rachael Ray show last fall, the calls started coming in. They received more than a thousand emails and decided to expand their concierge services, which command a minimum of $500. Now they even offer gift certificates and on-location consulting.
Of course, success has its trade offs. Now that The Baby Planners have landed some more well-placed national media attention and attracted a couple of celebrity clients,
(Mary Lynn Rasjkub of “24″ and Marissa Jaret Winokur of “Dancing With The Stars,” and the musical, “Hairspray” on Broadway), the friends still struggle with the same old work-life balance issues they were looking to improve.
“We thought we would have more time. But now there is not a moment of the day we don’t want to be on the computer,” admits Miller as she laughs about the phone ringing all the time – even at the school Halloween fair.
What’s different they say is that at the end of the day, the work they put in is accountable to the business they are building rather than someone else. And that ownership keeps them going.
“I think we have found a way to be creative and bebusinesswomen and be moms,” says Gould.
Meet Our Mom Goddesses
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008We received inspiring submissions to our Mom Goddess Contest from all over the country. Thesethree women can motivate all of us to be kind to ourselves even on themost chaotic of days. Congratulations! Each amazing mom wins herchoice of Goddess tops from our friends at LotusBlossomStyle.com. Thank you to everyone who entered and to Tabby Biddle, Owner of LotusBlossomStyle.com!
Heather Binning
Kansas City, Missouri
“I have 2 kids with special needs: one with Aspergers and one with brittle bones. I make sure I put the Mask on Me first (like the airlines tell you to). I
schedule time to watch movies, paint my toes bright colors, and see atherapist. I know that if I don’t take care of myself, I can’t possible take care of my
kids properly. I’m also writing a book for other SPED (special ed) moms, so thedaily writing is great for my own sanity. SPED moms feel more guilt andquite isolated and I want them to know they aren’t alone.” 
Lorraine Hamby
San Carlos, California
“I manage superhuman, “Mom-Goddess” feats by…never assuming I can be a perfect Mom-Goddess! Humility and humor are key. There’s nothing like having pureed carrots splattered across mine and my daughter’s face to make me humble, and hopefully, make me laugh. What keeps me going isn’t expert juggling or mastering the perfect schedule. It’s my daughter’s giggles, when she says, “Mama,” or her spontaneous tap-dancing that melts my heart and has me giggling along with her. That inspires me to “superhuman” feats and crazy amounts of mama-love. A Superhero-Dad of a husband and a great nanny sure help too!”
Erin Behen
Biddleford, Maine
“I am a 40-year-old the mom of three ages: nine, six and one. My husband works out of state from Sunday until Friday night when we are sleeping. In order to manage single motherhood and keep life in balance, I am a member at my local YMCA and Moms in Motion. I go to the “Y” to exercise daily and take my weekly Yoga class. Yoga allows me to breathe for at least 1 1/2 hours each week and to become more mindful. I have found trying to live in the moment and sometimes the second is what helps me to focus on what really matters. Being a healthy, strong, mindful human is my daily goal so that my family will thrive.”
Mother’s Day Mind Shift
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008By Heather Cabot, The Well Mom
Around this time last year, when I was surveying preschools, one of the toddler teachers I met gave the moms a talk about Mother’s Day. She said, “I want to save you some aggravation when the holiday comes around in a few weeks. Plan your Mother’s Day yourself. Tell your husband how you want to spend it and then arrange it yourself. You’ll save yourself a lot of disappointment.” 
At first, I was put off. Who was this stranger with this sour sounding advice? But the more moms I told about this weird encounter, the more told me they kind of agreed. That may be because for many moms, Mother’s Day is far from a day off.
“Even if they have a hands-on husband, moms are still the ones who haveto remember to pack the diaper bag or remember to bring the extra pairof underwear,” laughs Los Angeles life coach and owner of Mothercraft Coaching, Carley Knobloch.
She suggests we need a Mother’s Day mind shift. “Make Mother’s Day every day,” says the mother of two. In other words, get into the habit of being good to yourself throughout the year. It’s the message she hopes moms will take away from her first ever Mothercraft retreat in Malibu, California next month. Knobloch wants to impart to moms that if you show your family that you need time for yourself (whether it’s to go to the gym, take a bath or just take a deep breath), the annual holiday will take on much less significance…and you’ll probably be a much more energized and happier caregiver.
“You have to teach people how to treat you. You have to take the initiative to inspire your children and your husband to be kind to you all the time,” she explains.
Part of that process involves recognizing that both you and your husband are entitled to down time during your busy lives. Knobloch says it’s important for partners to acknowledge that not only do we need to carve out time for self-care, but that sometimes we need the people who love us to give us the nudge to do it. She says she tries to encourage her husband to go out for a bike ride and he reciprocates by watching the kids while she browses at the Farmer’s Market.
Once it becomes a family routine for each of you to enjoy time-off, Knobloch says you can never underestimate the value of saying thank you to reinforce just how well your time-off was spent. 
“It inspires people to be kind when they know you really appreciate it,” she says.
Well Mom Escapes
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008By Katherine Stewart, Special to The Well Mom
Once I became pregnant, my body started acting like it had a mind of its own – a wanton, reckless mind with no respect for earlier ideas of self. Back pain? Check! Leg cramps? Check! Never before had I been so desperately in need of cosseting. Fortunately, many spas around the country now offer spa services for the expectant mother, and some even go the extra mile with detailed pre- and post-natal packages. Here are five of my favorites:
1. Baby & Me Week
The Greenhouse, Arlington, Texas
Most postnatal spa programs require leaving the actual cherubs at home. Not so at the Greenhouse Spa in Arlington, Texas. Baby & Me Week is a five-day retreat for both new mothers and their newborns. When I landed at this historic spa, which recently celebrated its 40th year and has hosted such notables as Elizabeth Taylor and Nancy Reagan, I was charmed to discover that the grand, classical swimming pool was lined with rubber duckies, setting a child-friendly tone. Comfortable and elegant rooms were outfitted with the latest baby gear, and the spa provided diapers, burp cloths, even my favorite brand of organic baby food. With an experienced and gentle nanny assigned to my child for the duration of my stay, I was free to enjoy fitness classes, daily massages and facials, exquisite meals, and lectures in between snuggles with my little one.
2. Prenatal Surrender
The Montage Hotel, Laguna Beach, California
One of the most luxurious pre-baby breaks on the West Coast, Montage Laguna Beach’s day-long “Prenatal Surrender” package offers the poshest in pre-push pampering. When I arrived suffering from leg cramps and swollen with water weight, a physical therapist and nutritionist helped me devise a food plan and program of exercise to ease my symptoms. An invigorating beach walk and a 30-minute session of gentle stretching woke up my tired limbs and cleared the cobwebs from my head. Next was a prenatal massage and a gentle facial using pregnancy-safe ingredients to heighten that pre-baby glow. I sat down to lunch expecting my usual aversions (meat, cheese, anything green) to rule out most selections on my plate, but the nutritionist had already communicated with the kitchen, and I was served a gourmet yet healthful meal that seemed to satisfy all my cravings. A pregnancy-safe marine wrap hydrated my much-neglected skin. As the day concluded with a private yoga and meditation session to center body and spirit, I actually considered getting pregnant again as soon as possible, just to have an excuse to return.
3. The Wellness Escape for New and Expecting Mothers
Four Seasons Hotel, Silicon Valley, California
Most maternity spa services cater to the expectant mother. However, postpartum women arguably need cosseting and other strategies for self-care even more than their expectant sisters. At the Four Seasons in Silicon Valley, both groups get equal attention. Featuring the Bay-Area-based company Barefoot & Pregnant, and its founder Stacy Denney, this quick-break program who will share a day of wellness and indulgence. This 24-hour program includes pre and postnatal yoga, a water fitness class, spa services for the pre and postnatal woman including massages and skin treatments tailored to those whose hormones are in flux. There are plenty of additional treatments to choose from. One friend opted for a belly cast. Her pregnant torso and abdomen were painted with molding material to create a cast of her pregnant form; she proudly shows off the sculpture in her living room.
Stacy Denney, along with medical advisor Susan Hollander, is on hand to answer questions and talk about the experience of childbirth and motherhood. Stacy and B&P therapist Bridget Scadeng also conduct demonstrations of at-home pampering techniques from Stacy’s book, Spa Mama (Chronicle Books).
4. Hello Baby!
The “BabyMoon Package,” Mohonk Mountain House, New Paltz, New York
There’s no question that making babies is romance in action. Once our kids were on the scene, however, my husband and I discovered that making time for baby-making activities could be a logistical puzzle. In retrospect, I wish we’d treated ourselves to a “babymoon” such as the one offered by Mohonk Mountain House in New Paltz, New York. While not exactly bargain-basement, this three-day getaway costs less than some of the fancier strollers on offer. The spa’s couples treatment room accommodates the expectant pair for his-and-hers services: she gets the maternity massage, while he enjoys butched-up offerings such as the Eagle Cliff Deep Tissue Massage and the Sky Top Revitalizer Facial. Romantic dinners, turn-down chocolates, and gifts for mom, dad, and baby-to-be round out this getaway package.
5. Edamame Maternity Spa
New York, New York
Yummy mummies seeking a quick city break might check out the Edamame Maternity Spa for a spot of relaxation and renewal. Edamame’s offerings cater to women before, during, and after pregnancy, and safety to mother and baby is paramount. Services include the Yummy Tummy, a body treatment that increases circulation and enhances the skin’s elasticity; the Free Loader Massage which focuses on the back and upper body; the Aroma Therapy Massage with fragrant yet pregnancy-safe essential oils; and the Post Pregnancy Clinical Grade Facial, which removes dead skin cells and helps restore balance to skin in hormonal flux. Whether your little one is currently under construction or the city’s latest development, you’ll benefit from Edamame’s gentle brand of urban renewal.
Katherine Stewart authored the novels The Yoga Mamas and Class Mothers (2005 and 2006, Berkley Publishing Group). She is a contributing writer at Healing Lifestyles & Spas and many other magazines.
Hello, Hungry Girl
Monday, April 21st, 2008
I’m one of those women who craves the kind of advice Hungry Girl serves up each day. It’s friendly and practical guidance on eating well and still being able to zip your pants. When a friend introduced me to HG’s daily emails last year, I was hooked.
But as Lisa Lillien, a.k.a., Hungry Girl, tells her fans, she’s not a nutritionist. She’s just a chick who’s hungry. Her stay slim tricks have steadily attracted an audience of more than 400,000 people over the last five years, who gobble up HG’s daily emails about guilt-free eating.
The 42-year-old former Nickelodeon producer was not always so wise to the ways of weight maintenance. She grew up in New York, the daughter to a mom she describes as a yo-yo dieter who tried everything from Optifast to Nutrisystems.
“From a very young age, I was very conscious of dieting and food,” she told The Well Mom in a recent interview.
Despite all of the focus on fighting flab, Lillien struggled to lose the same 15 pounds through early adulthood.
“I used to pretend that pretzels were a good food and then eat 11 servings while sitting at the computer,” she recalls.
Until one day eight years ago, when she decided to go extreme. Lillien cut out all of the starches in her diet.
“Bread, pastas, rice, potatoes…I decided these were my trigger foods and I stopped eating them,” she says.
In her mind, this was the final attempt to jumpstart her weight loss once and for all.
It worked. She ended up losing 30 pounds and turned to Weight Watchers to learn how to maintain her new figure. The program taught her about portion control. It was a revelation that would later fuel HG’s success. Today, she’s even developed recipes for the weight loss giant. Check out her awesome onion ring makeover here!
“On Weight Watchers, you can’t lie (to yourself). It holds you accountable for what you eat. And it teaches you that everything you eat has a point or caloric value,” Lillien explains.
She decided a lot of people might benefit from what she learned. And frankly, she admits, she’s never been shy about dishing out advice to anyone who will listen.
“I’m the woman at the grocery story telling you which fat-free ice cream tastes the best,” she laughs. And so what began as a daily email sharing her own dieting tricks to about 200 family members and friends has now evolved into a major brand. And with the release this week of her very first cookbook, “Hungry Girl: Recipes and Survival Strategies for Guilt-Free Eating in the Real World
“There is a lot that is missing out there. It is stuff that I want that I can’t find,” she told me.
I asked HG, who has a lot of friends with kids, what advice she has for busy moms who are trying to either shed pounds or maintain a healthy weight. Here’s what she tells her own friends:
HG’s Tips for The Well Mom:
- Try to not buy foods for your toddlers that you secretly want to eat
- Make sure you are not overly hungry when you feed your kids. Or feed kids foods that are not “bad” (high fat, processed, artificial). She likes Amy’s and Dr. Praeger’s for kid-friendly frozen entrees.
- Stock an “emergency snack kit” in your office or car.
Her own stash includes:
Snack bars. She likes Dr. Melina’s brand, almond raspberry flavor.
VitaTops 100 calorie muffin tops
100 calorie packages of almonds or other portion controlled snacks
Apples
Grapefruit
Lose Your Mummy Tummy
Monday, April 21st, 2008
Whether you’re expecting and are thinking about your post-baby belly, have recently given birth, or are a seasoned mom whose uterus was long ago stretched to the max, maternal fitness expert, Julie Tupler, RN, offers these tips for losing that leftover pooch:
Practice Tupler technique abdominal exercises daily: Sit against a wall or in a chair, and imagine your belly button pulling your belly back towards your spine. Do little squeezes as you pullback, in sets of 100. Repeat 5 times daily. (TWM note: When I had my twins, the maternity nurses at NY Presbyterian Hospital told me to do these and I really think they worked. But please, consult with your doctor before beginning any new exercise.)
Wear a Maternal Fitness splint as you recover from childbirth to make the Tupler exercises more effective. The splint is a piece of fabric that wraps around your waist, fastened by velcro. Tupler says it can help to pull together the two sides of the abdominal wall that often separate during pregnancy, otherwise known as “diastasis recti.“ You can purchase a splint at Maternalfitness.com.
Check out more Mummy Tummy tips at Vital Juice Moms.
Green Chic
Wednesday, April 9th, 2008By Heather Cabot, The Well Mom
I’ve always liked granola. But before my children were born, no one would have ever called me the earthy crunchy type. I’ll admit, I really didn’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about the environment. Yet a few months into this mom thing, I was surprised to find myself paying a lot more attention to recycling, organic food and the thermostat.
Maybe it was seeing “An Inconvenient Truth” when my twins, Ian and Samantha were just learning to crawl…or moving to L.A. and noticing the air quality when I took them out for afternoon strolls….or discovering the vast and overwhelming array of produce at the grocery store. Whatever it was, I am sure that motherhood switched on an energy saving lightbulb in my head. Suddenly, I was much more conscious of my impact on the planet. (I still shave my legs and you won’t find me composting in the backyard just yet.)
But where to begin?
Let’s face it, new motherhood doesn’t leave much time for doing much more than adjusting to your new role. Going green seemed aspirational. That’s why I have been heartened by the growing number of resources that provide some easy ways to get started.
For me, it’s all about baby steps and bite-sized explanations. The new book Green Chic: Saving the Earth in Style 
The best part is that Matheson, a San Francisco writer, delivers her tips in a smart little guide that reads like you’re chatting over herbal tea at some cool cafe.
She takes on everything from greener beauty routines (go polish-free when you get a mani-pedi) to eco-friendly gifts (don’t just by “things,” give the gift of time or pampering) to sustainable shopping tips (shop like a celebrity stylist and edit your closet before you splurge). More than anything, her message is that simplifying your life and refining your habits may actually make quite a difference in both your carbon footprint…and your stress level.
Matheson’s list of classics that have always been green sums up her approach to being mindful of the earth (see below). You wouldn’t necessarily associate linen napkins, your great-grandmother’s wedding band or beauty sleep with environmentalism. But she makes the point that a big part of greening up our lives is about appreciating simple pleasures. That’s a message any busy mom can get her arms around.
A Few Chic Things That Have Always Been Green
- Going barefoot in a linen dress on the beach
- Beauty sleep
- Owning your own personal style instead of following every trend
- Eating lobster off the coast of Maine
- Your great-grandmother’s wedding band
- A perfectly tailored, impeccably made wool coat
- Linen napkins
- Skinny-dipping
- A vintage Chanel jacket
- Giving thoughtful gifts you know the recipient will love
- An exquisite antique table
- A luxurious high-quality cashmere sweater
- Sharing oysters on Tomales Bay with a bottle of Grgich Hills Sauvignon Blanc
- Beautiful family heirlooms
- Keeping your clothes and furniture in perfect condition
- A table set with vintage white china lit by beeswax candles
- Moonlight (nothing’s more flattering)
- Smiling
List reprinted with permission from Green Chic: Saving the Earth in Style by Christie Matheson,
Sourcebooks, Copyright 2008
Exercise Green
Wednesday, April 9th, 2008By Molly Mann, Divine Caroline
I always feel most attuned with nature when I’m exercising. Even when I’m not hiking in the woods or biking on the trail, somehow feeling my body move underneath me puts me more in touch with the natural world.As a result, most of my efforts to go green are centered around diet and exercise. Even though so much workout gear is made from synthetic or unsustainable materials, I have been able to find a lot ofeco-friendly exercise accessories online that meet my criteria of sustainability, aesthetics, and comfort.
Hiking
What better way to celebrate your greenness than off-road it a little and get out into nature? I love Timberlandboots because they are super-durable and super-sustainable. The laces are made from 100percent recycled plastics, the soles recycled rubber, and the boot itself is hand-sewn to eliminate toxic adhesives.
Also check out Lafuma backpacks. All Lafuma products are entirely sustainable, and the company is a partner of the World Wildlife Federation. Their line of backpacks has features like gel strap inserts for maximum comfort, hydration pockets with tube ports, and three-point adjustment for optimum support.
Biking
If you prefer to hit the trails on two wheels, Krank Dirtwear is the go-to site for all your gear. Krank donates 5 percent of all sales profits to the World Wildlife Federation and is committed to environmental initiatives like marine conservation, community support,and sustainable forests. Not to mention that they’ve got tons of hot gear for women, plus biking and bike maintenance advice right on the site!
And if you’re really serious about greening your ride, check out BikeBamboo. Bamboo mountain bikes are a serious alternative to carbon or titanium; its strength and light weight make it an ideal material for bike construction that is entirely natural and eco-friendly.
Running
The process of manufacturing running shoes is often very wasteful, and many of the structural pieces are petroleum-based. Fortunately, BrooksCascadia has developed technologies that minimize the environmental damage done by making shoes. They use green rubber out soles, made with silica sand as the toughening agent rather than carbon black, which is a petroleum-based by-product of burning natural gas. Not only is this easier on the environment, but the result is an out sole three times as durable as the blown rubber that typically resides in the forefoot of modern running shoes. Brooks also uses new MOGO construction rather than compressed construction for their mid soles. A pellet form of EVA is placed into individual molds and measured by weight. The pellets are then melted down, forming the mid sole of the shoe. This yields a more consistent mid sole density as well as reducing construction waste by over 50 percent.
Swimming
All pools unfortunately use tons of chlorine and other chemicals that leave you feeling not so green, except for maybe your hair. But there is plenty of sustainable swimwear out there to make those laps ride a little easier on your conscience. After all, swimming is the best exercise! My favorite site is Patagonia, which has great,environmentally-conscious bathing suits and wetsuits. With tons of different styles and colors, all made from recycled and sustainable materials, you’ll feel and look great poolside or at the beach. Not to mention that 1 percent of all sales goes to environmental causes.
Yoga
Yoga builds your appreciation for the physical and spiritual world around you, so it’s no surprise that most yogis are vegetarians and committed to living sustainably. As a result, it’s actually difficult to find yoga gear that isn’t green. The tried and true yoga staple isGaiam, where you can find everything you need for your practice. From organic clothing, to props, to building an atmosphere in your studio or living space, this is the place to shop.
Gym
Sometimes you just need to work up a sweat. The problem is that organic cotton, since it holds sweat, can leave you feeling chafed, chilled,and bogged down with wet clothes. Bamboo, hemp, and soy all require heavy processing to make them gym-worthy. Find sleek items at Nau orPatagonia.
Article provided by DivineCaroline.com, a website where well-informed women like you can read and contribute stories, reviews, and forums. Please visit our vibrant community soon.
Looking Back On Early Motherhood
Wednesday, April 9th, 2008
By Carol Kaufmann, Columnist, “Mama Tricks: Wrapping Your Head Around Motherhood”
Since I had so much “free time” while I nursed during my daughter’s first few months on the planet, I tossed the book Eat, Pray, Love in my cart at Target one harried Saturday during a diaper run. Oprah said every woman in the country had read this travel memoir (except me, evidently) and I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I’m glad I did read the book, albeit in fits and starts while Sara Clare was nursing, for one sole reason.
In the Italy/Eat section, the author is musing about her new-found home, Rome, and says she wants to be like this city, regally self-assured, grounded, “amused and monumental,” when she’s an old lady. At this hectic point in life, my aspirations aren’t so grand, but her analogy did give me an idea for a Mama Trick.
Imagine yourself older, say, the age you’ll be when your kids move out of the house. Imagine older-you remembering current-you right about now. Right now in the midst of stinky, never-ending diapers and toddler gibberish you wish you could interpret.
Ask yourself this: How do I want to remember my first years as a Mama? The question is about YOU – not how you want to remember your kids. (Hopefully, the answer to that is fully and completely, though with the sleep deprivation, slim chance without the saving grace of modern digital camera and video recorders.) Ask yourself this because sometimes it’s just not enough to make it up as we go along. Sometimes we need a little vision.
I’ll bite: How will I remember me as a new mom?
When I first tried this type of “projection assessment,” I imagined older me tried and tested, thus wiser, savvier, more together and finally organized. (I’m a true optimist). Older-me looked back on myself with kindness and compassion because that’s how older-me looks at young mothers who don’t know what the hell they’re doing. Still, I didn’t like everything that I saw.
Certainly, I took a huge amount of pride in my new family. But I also felt regret. That all-encompassing feeling of fatigue descended over every muscle and fiber when I mentally reviewed the beginnings of my children’s lives. Visions of an exhausted, stretched thin, strung-out nutbag came to mind. How much time did I lose wondering if my energy was ever going to return? (It did). Can I never get back the time I spent complaining to my husband and girlfriends about stubborn baby weight and nonexistent personal time? (No, silly question). And how many hours did I spend mourning the loss of the old me? (The new one’s better).
But there were also glimpses of a woman who smiled much more than she used to, in a deep, very genuine way. I saw scenes of me turning tantrums into ripples of giggles by making funny faces. I knew very well my ridiculous poses were an entree into the epicenter of my children’s comfort zone. They were the precursors to hugs that banished the sting of scraped knees and hurt feelings. And the hugs would eventually lead to soft strokes of the face that would put them to sleep. I knew this is the Mama I wanted to remember.
Now, at times their cries are like little stabs of pain and I pull the blanket further over my head. But when I think of older-me remembering current-me, I have much more incentive to pad down the hall into their rooms and morph into those silly looks that I know make my wee ones explode with laughter.
I know what I want to remember most: The sounds of their cackles and their pure smiling faces, the essence of children that cameras can’t ever capture. So when I am that older, wiser dame and think back to these days, I hope I picture a smiling, though admittedly tired, woman gazing at her kids with a ridiculous look on her face, trying to memorize every gesture.
©Copyright 2008 Carol Kaufmann
Carol Kaufmann regularly shares her “Mama Tricks” with The Well Mom. Her work has appeared in Reader’s Digest, National Geographic, The Washington Post, and in the anthology A Woman’s Europe. She lives in Alexandria, VA with her husband, toddler, newborn, and two obese rescue cats.