By Heather Cabot, The Well Mom
When she’s not teaching yoga and helping moms get fit, family therapist Sara Holliday coaches couples on improving their love lives. The San Diego-based relationship expert and owner of Fit By Sara, spends a great deal of time encouraging men and women to be more assertive with their partners about intimacy. According to Holliday, a married mom of two, great communication is the key to great sex. The problem, though, is classic the Mars/Venus conundrum – “Guys don’t get women and women don’t get guys,” she explains. So – what to do? Put some effort into understanding your partner better. Holliday says trying to be more aware of what’s going on inside his head will actually make you desire him more. Here are her six steps for better communication…and intimacy.
Remember he needs sex. “Guys physically need a “release.” And when they do, it produces feel good hormones,” says Holliday.
Stop picking on him. “Guys can’t stand nags. Keep the little irritations to yourself and focus on the big picture,” she explains.
Praise him. “Guys love to feel appreciated. Let him know that you appreciate the things he does for you and your family.”
Let him wear the pants. “Guys like to be guys and get irritated when
their woman takes over everything. Let him take care of things in his own
way,” she advises.
More connection equals greater desire. “Spend some quality time together watch your libido rise,” she says. In other words, find a sitter or a loved one to give you two an evening or afternoon off.
Set the Mood. Ambiance goes a long way. Holliday says “Candles, romantic music, massage oil equal HOT, HOT, HOT!”
