By Carley Knobloch, Mothercraft Coaching
This week, amidst a mountain of to-dos, a looming school fundraiser, some time-sensitive business projects and are model-in-progress mess in my house, I felt a bit overwhelmed.
I also felt… itchy.
After the 3rd day or so of watching my kids scratch their heads, and the third night of combing through their scalps and finding nothing, I called the local lice lady and scheduled a visit, suspecting the worst.
Turns out, we were all crawling with head lice (except for lucky dad, who’s been M.I.A. with a big work assignment and managed to dodge the bullet). Four hours later, we had all been picked, combed,slathered with oils and mousses, and were thoroughly exhausted. And may I just take this opportunity to say that there’s nothing more humiliating than having another woman comb through your hair for bugs.
That was only the beginning. Now, in the middle of my crazier-than-usual week, I now had to launder, vacuum and garbage-bag every inch of my house, and pull a nit comb through three cranky heads,twice a day. (You can imagine whose head was the crankiest).
Sometimes it seems like life is baiting you. There are just too many plates in the air, and they all seem to be threatening to land on your head. It can all seem a little much, and if you’re not careful, panic and hopelessness can set in. When the perfect storm begins to rage,it’s easy to go to the “I’m not going to make it!” place.
But you know what I say? Bring it on, head lice! I am channeling my Inner Warrior Mom and plowing through this sucky situation! Because there is nothing as powerful and chest-puffing as conquering a previously-thought-impossible task, landing with a huff on the bed at the end of the day and thinking, “I survived.”
I’ve realized that motherhood is a series of “firsts”: first fever,first broken bone, first throw-up in the car, first apple juice spill on your due-tomorrow project. Each first is met with the same initial response: “I just can’t handle this.” And then, of course, we handle it. And we handle it fabulously.
So listen up, lice: while you might have thought that my scalp would be a nice place to play house, you had no idea who you were messing with. Here are some mind-shifters that can help you battle whatever comes, and do so with the grace, skill, and humor that only a mom can muster.
1) The only way out is through. The only way out is through. You can wish all you want that baby didn’t just throw up all over the backseat on the way to mommy-and-me. No matter that you’re starved for adult interaction or that you just had the car detailed. The only way to deal with the situation is to just move forward, one step at a time. Wallowing in your “story” (I can’t handle this…this always happens to me…I’m such a loser…I don’t know what to do…) is only a distraction from the necessary actions you need to take. The “bring it on†attitude summons the intense presence and focus necessary to get past your “story” and get the job done.
2) This too shall pass. Most moms will admit in hindsight that just prior to losing their marbles over a seemingly-insurmountable problem or treacherous phase, it suddenly ended. It’s hard to take comfort in that when you are in the middle of the crisis, but try. Because “this too shall pass” is one of those valuable perspective-shifters that can make all the difference.
3) Next action step. When large projects seem overwhelming, slow down. Take a deep breath. Now ask yourself, “What is the absolute next action step I need to take?” Breaking things down into smaller steps and tackling them one at a time is the way to bypass your brain’s tendency to overload, which is only a distraction from what needs to get done.
4) It’s alright to cry (even in front of your kids). This mom gig is tough stuff, and sometimes the levee breaks and there are tears. It’s simply not worth the energy to keep them in, and often times a few minutes is all you need to let it go. Be with your feelings, release them, and move on. And if your kids happen to be watching, it’s a great teachable moment about how it’s okay to have emotions and it’s safe to let them out.
