By Lauren Gelman, Prevention

How Healthy Was Your Pregnancy?

Emerging research shows that certain health issues that occur during pregnancy can raise your risk of other conditions later. How much weight you gained, whether you developed complications like gestational diabetes, and how smooth your labor went may serve as early clues to future health problems, say experts. But this isn’t necessarily all bad news. “Most of the health issues that pregnancy may influence are preventable, so it’s a unique opportunity to get a handle now—and make lifestyle changes to prevent them,” says Hyagriv N. Simhan, MD, director of maternal-fetal medicine at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.

Here are 6 pregnancy health problems to note—and what you can do to stay well long after you enter motherhood.

1. If you had: High blood pressure/preeclampsia

Your risk now: heart disease

Women with hypertension while pregnant had symptoms of heart disease about 3 years sooner than women with normal levels, Chilean researchers found. To reduce risk, be extra vigilant about exercising, maintaining a healthy weight, and getting blood pressure and cholesterol tested regularly.

2. If you had: Gestational diabetes

Your risk now: Type 2 diabetes

Women who develop GD have up to a 50% chance of developing type 2 diabetes within 10 years. If you had GD, tell your doc. You should get tested annually.

3. If you had: Excess early pregnancy weight gain

Your risk now: Complications due to being overweight

Some research suggests that women who gain a lot of weight in the first half of pregnancy—when little of it contributes to baby’s weight gain—have more difficulty losing it compared with women who gain more weight in the second half. There’s also evidence that post-pregnancy weight retention tends to be deposited as belly fat, the dangerous kind that can cause inflammation and increase your risk of heart disease, says Emily Oken, MD, MPH, a Harvard assistant professor who studies pregnancy health issues.

Maintaining a healthy weight is one of the best things you can do for your health; it reduces the risk of diabetes, heart disease, and even some cancers. For help starting an effective weight loss regimen, click here to find the approach that’s best for you.

4. If you had: Gingivitis

Your risk now: Periodontal disease

About half of women experience swollen, bleeding gums during pregnancy because of hormonal changes, says periodontist Susan Karabin, DDS, immediate past president of the American Academy of Periodontology. “Most of the time this resolves after women have given birth or finished breastfeeding,” she says. “But now that many women are getting pregnant later in life, they may already have some periodontal disease, and gum problems during pregnancy can make it worse.”

Because gum disease (and the inflammation that comes with it) is linked to serious problems like Alzheimer’s and heart disease, it’s important to take precautions if you’re at risk. Women may need more frequent dental visits for cleanings or a more aggressive treatment approach for healthy gums, such as scaling and root planing.

5. If you had: A very long labor

Your risk now: Incontinence

All women who have children (vaginally or C-section) have an increased risk of incontinence later on. But the condition is even more likely in women who had a pushing phase of labor longer than 2 hours—the protracted effort can compress a nerve that controls bladder function, says urogynecologist Lauri Romanzi, MD. She says Kegel exercises are the best way to control incontinence; pelvic floor physical therapy, medication, or surgery can help more serious cases.

6. If you had: Postpartum depression

Your risk now: Depression recurrence

Women who experience PPD are twice as likely to have another bout of depression within 5 years, say researchers. You may also be more prone during times of hormonal change, like perimenopause. Watch for symptoms—such as feeling hopeless, not sleeping well, or eating significantly less or more than usual—that last longer than 2 weeks, and talk with your doctor if you suspect a recurrence.

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By Heather Cabot, The Well Mom

Most Well Moms are so busy chasing after their little ones, the thought of caring for a parent may seem  far off.  But for many older moms (those of us who’ve given birth after the age of 35), the challenge of caring for aging parents while managing a young family may be very real.   TV and radio personality Leeza Gibbons, a mother of three, knows this firsthand.  Her own mother past away last year after a decade long battle with Alzheimer’s disease.  Along the way, Gibbons, her father and siblings took turns making sure her mom Jean was receiving the help she needed at every turn.  But the process was emotionally and physically draining.  That’s why Gibbons is trying to help other caregivers avoid burnout and find support in her new book, Take Your Oxygen First. Gibbons also started a foundation called Leeza’s Place to assist caregivers of memory loss disorder patients.  I talked with Leeza via email about what all of us can learn from her experiences and why her message of self-care is applicable to anyone.

LG: I think most caregivers, in fact most women, need to keep in mind the words ‘stop achieving and start receiving.’  We’re very good at accomplishing things.  We’re very good at achieving things. We’re very good at solving problems.  Most of us, however, are not so good at letting others help us or helping ourselves.  We continue to need encouragement on ways to open up, let go, and receive.  For care givers this is essential.  The process is stressing, depressing, and depleting.  And in no time, you can lose yourself and find all that’s in place of where your life use to be is resentment, anger, frustration and exhaustion. The caregiving experience can cut your life short by 10 years!

TWM: How did you come up with the title of the book?

LG: When I first became a mother I remember hearing the words from the flight attendant on an airplane to, “Put my oxygen mask on first, before I help others.”  I rolled my eyes and did what most mothers intuitively did…I assured myself that if my child did need me, I would absolutely give my child his or her oxygen before taking mine.  Now I realize that, just as you only have a few seconds of mindful consciousness on an airplane in an emergency, we too have a finite amount of reserves in our own lives as care givers.  If we fail to nourish ourselves: mind body, soul, and spirit, we will be of no use to anyone.  The best way to love someone who needs you is simply to make sure you are whole, nourished, and prepared.  And the best way to do that is to give yourself permission to matter and take your oxygen first. It is not a sign of weakness or selfishness, but rather a sign of personal strength and the ultimate considerate move.

TWM: Why did you want to share your mom’s story?

LG: The book of lessons I learned from my mother is an epic, many volumes long, which is still being written.  I wanted to share the story of her life for many reasons, the most prevailing one of which, was she asked me to.  I saw my mom disappear behind the veil of Alzheimer’s disease for over ten years.  Her battle with the thief of memories was nothing short of remarkable.  I learned from her grace and her courage, her resilience and her honesty, every day in that decade as I had in the decades before.  They say that as we age we become more and more of who we are.  That we can take off the mask that we used to wear to protect us from our insecurities, to present to the world who we thought we should be and we can get down to the business of who we truly are.  My mother was a truth seeker, and the truth about her life was not pretty.  She saw her mother, my granny, die of the same disease that took her from us.  The day of my granny’s funeral, my mom had just been diagnosed.  And as she looked into the eyes of her deceased mother, I looked into the eyes of my mother and I felt the stare of my children upon me.  I knew then that my mother was right when she said, “Honey, you’re a storyteller. Now this is your story. Tell it, and make it count.”

TWM: What do caregivers need to learn?

LG: I think the lesson for all of us is how to stay present.  How to stay fully engaged in the gift of the moment while still holding our boundaries and protecting our authentic selves.  Over time I saw becoming myself more and more of the woman I’d hoped to be.  More and more of a woman worthy of my mother’s legacy.  I learned that it wasn’t always about letting go of the things over which I couldn’t control.  It became about controlling the things that I could.  And that’s a long list.  My thoughts, my attitude, my point of view.  No matter where you go, there you are.  And when someone is sick, it becomes urgent to give yourself the gift of hopefulness.  Because from that can come healing and help.  While it’s true, we can’t always cure the diseases that take our loved ones from us, we can do a lot to remedy the toxicity that rests in its path.

If you commit yourself every day to walking with your pain, to sharing a cup of tea with your loneliness and despair, to asking your heartbreak what it can teach you, then you’ll find that you can co-exist.

TWM: What can we teach children?

LG: I think that as moms of young children, when we see someone we love, a friend, a parent, a spouse, get sick or face a chronic disease or terminal illness, we tend to want to protect our kids from that pain.  And yet, it’s almost always more valuable to allow them to experience us as we deal with our pain and suffering.  It’s almost always more valuable to let them see our vulnerabilities and our commitment to survive.  It’s almost always more valuable to allow them to witness our ability to breathe, believe, and receive.  Those words have been very valuable to me.  If we can be mindful of our breathing and take ten measured breaths, we can affect our physiology dramatically.  Our oxygen can tell our brains to tell our bodies to slow down.  It can aid in our digestion, it can aid in our stress management, and it can be a powerful weapon to shield us against disease.  If we believe, then we know that no matter what the outcome we will be okay.  People of faith tend to fare better in moment of crisis.  It doesn’t really matter what you believe in.  It can be fairies, magic, a supreme being, whatever. The fact that you believe in something outside of yourself, tends to give you more resilience.  When you’re in a health crisis, that is the time to believe that you will be enough.  And finally, the part that’s most difficult for most care givers to receive.  When we’re bound up in a ball of knotted tension no one can penetrate that surface and offer us anything.  Its only when we dare to unclench our fists that we can receive the help that our family and friends are offering us and the wisdom of the universe.  But first, we have to quiet our thoughts, create enough stillness in our minds so there is enough gap there for answers to come in.

TWM: How can we be helpful to a caregiver we know?

LG: How many times have you said or heard “let me know if I can do anything to help you?”  The truth is when someone’s in a real crisis, they can’t even figure out the answer to hello, much less the words that make enough sense to give you direction about how to help them.  So what I tell people is show up, step up and offer up something—anything!  Walk the dog, open the mail, make a meal, burn a CD of music, do something but don’t wait for them to tell you what they need.  On the other hand care givers; it is a good idea to have a list so that if someone does ask you what you need, you can be very purposeful about it.

The main advice that I give people is when someone’s hurting, don’t try to talk them out of their pain.  Acknowledge their hurt and allow them to feel it. Yes, there may be someone in the world who hurts more, maybe the loved one who died  IS in a better place….those things don’t really matter at the moment on greatest grief impact.  What matters is the pain of this very moment.  Yes, perhaps there’s a great lesson in the suffering but for now, allow them just to feel that pain. It can be most helpful just to have someone bear witness to our hurt.

Are you caring for a parent or relative with memory loss? Please share your story with us.

By Heather Cabot, The Well Mom

One night, I was taking a bow onstage, smiling into the spotlight alongside a cast of polished performers.  The next morning, I was back in my sweats, hurrying my double stroller down 2nd Avenue in hopes that my son and daughter would make it to preschool on time.  This swift jolt back to reality, each morning after the previous night’s performance to a packed house marked my amazing journey in the NYC production of Expressing Motherhood.  Through two dress rehearsals and three nightly shows, our group of 13 mom writers transcended the typical grind of lunch packing and laundry and transformed ourselves into stars of the stage.  Each night, we cheered each other on as we stepped center stage and revealed our most intimate thoughts and feelings about being a mom.

“Being able to say what you feel about being a mother, or sharing an experience for others to hear, gives a sense of normalcy and strength to keep up the work,” explains Jessica Cribbs, co-producer of Expressing Motherhood, which debuted for a short run in NYC last month.

Through a series of both poignant and funny monologues, our group touched on taboo subjects ranging from giving up an unplanned baby for adoption to enduring severe injuries in labor to how childhood trauma shapes motherhood to pining for a sex life after baby.  In my piece, I shared my nagging internal conflict over my three year-old’s obsession with princesses and how I managed to cope.  The diverse content was gathered through a nationwide search for original writing by mothers.  A new staging in Los Angeles is planned for January.

For 59-year-old Deni B. Sher, the chance to tell the story of her son Chris’ descent into drug and alcohol addiction and the eventual dose of tough love that got him him clean had been seven years in the making.

“It is (my) time to stand up and be heard,” Sher told me via email.  “Alcoholism and addiction are rampant diseases worldwide.  Expressing Motherhood is a vehicle for my voice, my message and it gives me a chance to affect the lives of those who attend,” she explains.  Sher flew in Florida to appear in the show and her son Chris came from North Carolina to be in the audience on closing night.

Sparking life changing experiences isn’t exactly what Cribbs, 32 and her friend Lindsay Kavet, 33, had in mind when they first decided to bring Expressing Motherhood to life two years ago.

“I had a young child and I was lonely, craving other moms to talk to. So I thought why not (put together) a play that consisted of real moms sharing their stories about motherhood in some creative fashion or another,” says Kavet, a former TV producer.

So, as the story goes, the two stay-at-home moms,  hatched their plan for a stage production while their children napped.  In June of 2008, it opened at the Electric Lodge theater in Venice Beach, CA.  Now a month after a second Los Angeles run, which played to sold out-crowds, they’re gearing up for a fourth LA show and preparing for a new production in Des Moines, Iowa.  A portion of the proceeds from the shows benefit Family Care International, a non-profit supporting maternal health around the globe.

As the project has evolved, Cribbs and Kavet have realized the impact of their work both on performers and on audiences.

“I really want the audience who are men or women who do not have children, to come away with the understanding that just because a woman has children, doesn’t mean she disappears.  It doesn’t mean because of the choice to raise children, you simply cannot have a voice in real situations on real events. I want mothers in the audience to come away feeling normal,” Cribbs says.

In the coming months, Cribbs and Kavet hope to give many more moms the opportunity to speak out by rolling out similar productions in cities around the country.  For me, it was exhilarating.  I will keep you posted on ways for Well Moms to get involved.  If you live in Los Angeles, look for humorist Sarah Maizes in the January showcase.