Trying to find my mom sea legs with 18 month old twins

By Heather Cabot, The Well Mom

It’s been almost four years since I began my crazy, miraculous motherhood journey.  Early on, I remember one of the toughest things to deal with (aside from sleep deprivation) was the pressure I put on myself to be a certain type of mother.  I’m not sure I really knew what a “perfect” mom looked like.  But whether it was agonizing over the fact that I didn’t breast feed my twins or that I didn’t make my own organic baby food or that I ended up staying at home when I had thought I would seamlessly go back to my career or that I didn’t magically fit back into my old clothes on the time line I had envisioned, I now know I spent WAY too much time stressing about what I thought I was supposed to be doing instead of embracing the experience and just going with it. Yes, like  many of you, The Well Mom did in fact, suffer from Perfect Mom Disorder.

In fact, this very website, The Well Mom, evolved from my distress over what I thought motherhood would be like and my struggle to transition to my new identity and life. I wanted to create the safe space that I craved. What I’ve come to realize in this endeavor, is that no one can make you feel confident about the choices you make except you.  More than anything, I think motherhood is about learning to listen to your gut and letting go.  And  — it is a work in progress!

Carley Knobloch, Perfect Moms Finish Last

This is why I was so happy to participate in Carley Knobloch’s insightful interview series, Perfect Moms Finish Last. Knobloch, a life coach and founder of Mothercraft Coaching in Los Angeles was actually one of the first contributing writers to this site and I was glad to help her shed some light on the pressure so many of us feel to be Supermoms.  Over the last few months, she’s spoken with 20 notable women who share from-the-trenches tips on how they stay true to who they are… and how you can too.  I was humbled to be included in the group.

“From mega-bloggers Pamela Slim (Escape from Cubicle Nation) and Beth Feldman (Role Mommy), to celebrated authors like Kathy Buckworth (The Blackberry Diaries: Adventures in Modern Motherhood) and Katherine Ellison (Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes Us Smarter), to successful entrepreneurs like Carley Roney (The Knot) and Liane Weintraub (Tasty Baby), there is inspiration here for any mom who needs to reclaim her individuality and trust her own intuition.   These moms illuminate the path for others who feel trapped in the “Perfect Mom” box, and want to pursue their passions and interests without doubt and regret,” explains Knobloch, a mom of two.

She says she was determined to start a long overdue conversation and sought out exemplary women who are leading the way for moms who need to rescued from “PMD” (Perfect Mom Disorder).

“These women have created a lifestyle that allows them to be EXACTLY who they are as individuals while raising their children,” says Knobloch.

Check out the free interview series at Perfect Moms Finish Last and listen in on how these influential moms:

- Decide how much (or little) to work
- Deal with feeling stuck or pressured
- How they course correct when they make mistakes
- How they battle judgment and what their “guilt triggers” are
and how they fold what they love into everything they do as parents.

So — do you have PMD or know someone who does? What are you doing about it?  Tell us about it!

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This entry was posted on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 1:36 am and is filed under well-centered. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.